Skeptic Dreamer

Introverts: Understanding how they work

As usual, I was surfing the web last night when I came across this particular text from my from. I got the hardest mind opening shock ever. 

I am an introvert. Not because I choose to but because I am born one. 

Introverts and Extroverts have their brain wired differently, which also cause them to behave differently in social situations. As their names suggest, Introverts needs input while extroverts need outputs. “The PET scans revealed that introverts have more activity in the frontal lobes of the brain and anterior, or front, thalamus. These areas are activated when a person’s brain takes on internal processing such as remembering, problem solving and planning. Extroverts exhibit more activity in the anterior cingulate gyrus, temporal lobes and posterior thalamus. These areas are typically thought to be more involved in sensory processing such as listening, watching or driving.”

Another study also shows that 75% of the world population consist of extroverts, which leaves the remaining to be introverts. Since young, I knew that I was different from most people despite being unable to put a finger to an exact cause. I would find myself zoning out once in a while when talking to people, taking longer than usual to reply an immediate question or even getting extremely quiet when I’m around loud people. 

Not long ago when I was attending my school’s open house as a volunteer for night duty, I experienced the same thing that went on for several years since birth. The settings then was loud, hyped up and crazy. Famous DJ Zouk was there, churning out some really awesome songs remix and people were on the floor dancing. No doubt I was enjoying the music and the people I’m with. However, a very familiar pattern happened to me again. I withdrew out of the huge dance floor and walked away from the crowd, and went home. So one would ask, “Why would you leave if you are enjoying it too?” 

Simply because I felt that I didn’t fit in to the group of people that are dancing on the floor and the need to leave that chaotic scene and not be a wet blanket. Strange enough, at the very moment I left the crowd and walked to the bus stop on my own, I felt peaceful again. My head wasn’t pounding as hard and I wasn’t seeing so many faces all at once. It was as if I was returning back into a personal space that I’ve created for myself in my head. 

Sometimes I ask myself if I need to get my brains check to see if I have AS or autism. The way I found myself behaving wasn’t normal to the people around me. I was satisfied even though I didn’t have much friend or that I was alone for most of the time. I get called names like, stupid, lazy, inattentive, day dreaming and retard all the time. Some would ask me if I ate snails for all my life. Because of the fact that I didn’t need to talk to socialize like most would, my speech skills was underdeveloped. I miss out certain vowels in words, I don’t pronounce letters that I need to and it makes me socially awkward. It’s just that I have so much things in my mind that I want to say but I just can’t. The way I would say things wasn’t something that everyone understands. 

One thing that I need to clarify is that I don’t have Asperger’s. My senses are fined tuned to an extent so extremely like I could almost predict what a person is more of less likely to do in the next one minute. I do communicate with people and I am good with calming crying or anxious children. Ask my best friend and you would know, if I do talk, I talk for hours about anything in the world. Be it philosophy, or things in general, I do talk, and I won’t stop if there’s a good conversation or debate going on. I just don’t do well with the superficial words that people say in public. “Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.”

To those extroverts out there, all we want you to know is that we are not weird, not arrogant or proud. We are also not unable to communicate. We can and we just choose the right chances to do so, so that we can conserve the energy we have. Being around with a lot of people overwhelms us and it leaves it tired and bored. We do not feel comfortable telling you that we do not enjoy your company, that is why often we just walk away and leave silently with a lame excuse. Being alone and letting our imagination run wild energizes us more than being with people and just partying. Yes, I  would love to have a cup of coffee with you and just talk, but I would prefer to have a cup of coffee by myself while reading a book. It’s how extroverts get happy when they are out shopping or hanging out with friends, we get happy being calm, peaceful and alone. We don’t like shouting, we don’t like quarrels but we will put up a good fight if you challenge us. 

Sometimes when you catch us spacing out into thin air, we are not being retarded. We are thinking hard. If someone were to ask me what I would want for lunch, questions would be running through my head, “What did I have yesterday, do I want to enjoy the same thing again? What nice food are there in this place that I can get? If there aren’t, what else seems appealing to me? ” So on and so forth, we just think and think and think. That is why it takes a while to answer an immediate question. 

Introverts socialize, but on a less frequent basis. We too, feel the need to talk to people and we are not loners. Quiet conversations drive us insane, so do loud ones. We are also as interesting as one can be, just that we do not display it openly. 

We are normal like you are. Trying to change us into extroverts might make us have low self esteem. We understand how extroverts work, so can extroverts understand how we work and not criticize us for not being the same as everybody else? We are interesting people too:  ”Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and vivid imagination too.”

Be kind and not make fun of what we perceive the world should be. Just because the world is dominated by loud, outgoing, and friendly people, that doesn’t mean that the rest of us are abnormal. Why do we have to make fun of people who are not the same as everybody else? Just like Autism, down syndrome, and Asperger’s, these people do not choose the way they want to live. They can be as normal as you want them to be but they just don’t behave the way you do behave. And that doesn’t make them weird or retarded. As long as we breathe, and live, we are all humans. Do you discriminate against dogs with different doggy personalities? Dobermans and Chihuahuas are dogs despite being very different in size and attitudes. Be it the ginger tabby cat that is taking a nap on the front porch or the lion that is roaming free on the fields, they are all cats. Why can we understand how differently animals of the same species work, but act so strongly against homo sapiens that behave differently from the rest?

If both introverts and extroverts can understand each other fully, there wouldn’t be so much tension and misunderstanding between the two. So thank you if you are reading this. We will make sure out voices are heard in a different way that unite us all together. 

Wind

I write poems of the wind,

o’, so hard to hold,

as it is gone like the hands that caresses my hair,

o’ send tingles down my spine.

-

Pick up the guitar, pick up the shoes

walk a thousand mile with me.

Come on, canter on in the wind

as the frostbite eats away your skin

-

Don’t stop, don’t stop,

let it go and fly

Drop the weight and let it sink

Don’t stop, o’ don’t stop

-

Dimples beneath your chin

smile as the sun shines

lie with me under the wind

and soothe the cold in our hearts.

100 Interesting facts you didn’t know about me

It’s just another Saturday afternoon and before I pop into the kitchen to get myself some food, I decided to come up with a list with facts about myself. Here goes.

1. I’m 17, going 18 in a months time.

2. I was born on the 22th of February, which makes it 22,2 in numerical form- that’s how I remember my birthday.

3. My real name is Vivian Ye Jing Ning. In Chinese, it would be 倪敬宁.

4. The name Alexandra fascinates me a lot, therefore I used it as my unofficial last name to people whom I meet on photography sites.

5. Joy is my baptism name, which I use as my middle name.

6. I’m 163cm. Not that short and not that tall in the society I live in.

7. I am an introvert who likes adventures.

8. I go on an rebellious state when confined and restricted.

9. I tend to be very very mischievous most of the time.

10. No, I would believe that I am not boring at all, and with that, I have very strong moral values that I prefer not to have anyone mess with at all.

11. I like anything that is about camera, photography and videography. Not to say films and movies too.

12. I happened to be a music lover too, I play the guitar and a couple of Chinese wind instruments.

13. I own two DSLRs: A Canon 500D and a Canon 60D. 

14. I have three lenses in total, 3 camera bags for travel and 2 tripods

15. I like blues, jazz, pop, punk and country music.

16. I don’t like people who are extremes, they scare the crap out of me.

17. I am an optimist, but not filled with sheer optimism or confidence. I feel sad that a glass is only half full, but relieved that at least there’s half.

18. I talk like a retard, slow. Awfully slow.

19. I do not drink, smoke or take drugs.

20. I would love to have children but the thoughts of getting your vagina literally torn apart makes me think twice.

21. I want to name my children, Ethan and Edward (not vampire influenced.) 

22. It would be beautiful and touching if the father of my babies would sing this to me: Ed Sheeran- Small Bump

23. I dislike the obvious and know-it-alls.

24.I do not like being criticized. However, I’ve learnt to accept that a long time ago. 

25. I highly dislike pedantry. Seriously, don’t flaunt what you know in front of me, or go on about how I should be all formal.

26. I’m a easygoing person. You hardly hear the word “NO” coming out of my mouth when I’m asked for a favour. However, I will say no if I know that your request is too much.

27. I like helping, to a certain extent, people. I like animals in general and I wouldn’t want to see them hurt in anyway. 

28. I have a female 8 years old dog. The breed is unknown despite being very sure that she’s a Jack-chi in the past. She’s lovely and I love her so much.

29. I have fair skin, small eyes, dark brownish hair and a square jaw. 

30. I dislike people who swears, but I occasionally swear at people I hate. 

31. I emphasized that hate is a strong word to use. Therefore, if you are on my hate list, you have done a lot to upset me.

32. I am as calm as the sea, and as rough as the storm. My anger comes and goes like the ripple on the surface of the lake and can get as bad as the tsunami. 

33. I was a pessimist before I was an optimist. 

34. I think I’m a philosophical person.

35. I think I’m a skeptical person.

36. I dislike branding myself as someone or something. 

37. I would prefer not to brag. I dislike people who brag about the smallest thing and make you feel so insignificant with material things they have. 

38. I am a female gamer. My favourite game yet is Dragon nest. WOW doesn’t really go onto my favourite list. It makes kind soul people come out with nasty temperaments. Worse, it gets you hooked like drugs and weeds. For the times I’ve played WOW, the game didn’t leave my mind for once for the whole day till I get to play it again. To add on, WOW has been proved to be one of the easiest MMORPG games to play, so why pay for such an easy game.

39. I’m single currently and only had a relationship once. 

40. I give my all in whatever I do and give up when I know that I am taking too much time. 

41. I am stubborn but I do accept your reasons without protesting. I will just admit defeat in silence.

42. I am a sucker for pain but somehow I am fascinated with getting myself all cut up.

43. I cycle at least 3 times in a week for 3 hours each time without stopping.

44. I have slow to medium metabolism but I work hard to prevent myself from being a glob of blubber. 

45. I skip meals sometimes due to my poor management skills for time.

46. I love corn and broccoli.

47. I love cheese and anything cheesy. The same goes with milk

48. I can’t take celery cos I vomit when I do.

49. I like eating doggy treats. They are basically biscuits with less sugar and salt. More natural ingredients like coal. Hope that doesn’t make me dumb.

50. I play the guitar every single day unless I’m overseas. That is when I hoped everyone will have a guitar in their house.

51. My biggest wish for Christmas is to have a Gibson Hummingbird True Vintage Guitar. Well, there’s only 167 of them worldwide…. A Taylor or Martin guitar will do, Santa. 

52. I secretly wish for a Caucasian husband. Keep your fingers crossed!

53. I don’t really idolize musicians or actors. 

54. I prefer dogs over cats despite cats being cuter.

55. I love it when my dog squeezes in during bedtime with me. 

56. I love watching my dog sleep. 

57. Sometimes I just want to detonate my FB. Literally. Watch it go up in gas vapours as I cheer.

58. It scares the crap out of me when I press backspace out of the text box. I just did that and almost deleted the 57 points I wrote before.

59. I always cut my nails so they are neat, and guys with long and dirty fingernails turns me off the most.

60. I like guys with short and messy hair. Long hair just turns me off.

61. I live in the 21st century and I act like one. 

62. I love the beach and I love making friends who I feel comfortable with. I probably won’t approach you if you are socially active, hot and wild. I know my limits and I won’t embarrass myself.

63. I don’t drink coffee unless it’s Starbucks. Still, I don’t make it a habit. 

64. I love tea, any type of tea cos I’m Asian.

65. I love travelling and taking photos.

66. I am lazy but I would also like to give a counter point. I am only lazy when I am asked to do something I do not like. Therefore I’m lazy when it comes to math and science homework.

67. I love to eat baked rice but I do not know how to make one.

68. My favourite bands are Coldplay, Foster the people, John Mayer and Mumford and Sons.

69. I keep a diary and no, it’s not gay and it’s not about letting people get to your secrets easier. It helps me sort out all the negative emotions faster and get myself up again.

70. I enjoy outdoors activities.

80. I am only an introvert because I am not naturally stunning. I have difficulty with speaking and it makes me socially awkward.

81. I do not like people who discredit people’s work. Therefore I repost works but I will never download them and upload them as my own. There’s a limit to impressing your friends with people’s work.

82. Please be well mannered and sensitive if you want to talk to me.

83. It will be great if my husband plays the guitar and sings me to sleep once in a while. It doesn’t matter if you can’t sing. 

84. I have never kissed or held hands with a guy. My first relationship was a long distance one. 

85. From now on, I will only accept people who are positive as my boyfriend. Negative people sucks you in like a black hole and you can’t believe how much worse it will get in a relationship.

86. I can cook only a few dishes and I would love to take cooking classes.

87. Cooking for a spouse is something I will love to do everyday.

88. I am currently studying for the diploma in Mass Media Management. 

89. I love my dog’s tail. It’s like a huskies tail. Long and bushy.

90. My dog looks like a fox. A white fox that is anorexic.

91. I love Harry Potter.

92. I utterly hate Clowns. Any form of clowns. They scare me as a child. To me they are like Zombies… Sorry clown lovers :(

93. I have the ant syndrome. Seeing a lot of ants crawling makes me shiver and itch all over.

94. I have trypophobia. It’s the fear of holes in skin or any surface. 

95. I have really smooth skin that’s very nice to touch.

96. I used to swim a lot when I was young.

97. I want a new mountain bike.

98. I feel bad whenever I ask for presents.

99. I tend to ruin surprises because I normally know what they already are. I’m damn good at guessing.

100. I like even numbers more than odd numbers. Therefore I shall end at 100.

2011

It’s 5 to the last hour of the year now and I’ve finally settle myself down for a short note. This year has been filled with many wonders, and I would say, primary a year for me to lick and heal my wounds. Year 2010 wasn’t a pleasant year to me at the least but I have to say that 2011 was much better. In summary, I got into an awesome course I wanted (I worked hard for it), I was in a relationship for 10 months, I grew as a photographer and most of all, as a person. These few years that has passed or has yet to come will be what I call, the most important years to adulthood. There’s still so much to be learnt, repent and just laugh about. 

I ain’t celebrating the end of this year cos to me, it’s all the same. Nothing to expect, nothing to be happy about. It might be iconic but life is life. Time is money and time never stops. We don’t celebrate the end, we celebrate the start. If you were to ask me if there’s anything I regret about this year, I would say nothing. I don’t regret anything for opportunities comes disguised as a curse, they would say. When a door closes, it means that my job is done here while another opens. Life’s like that, it doesn’t stop, so why beat ourselves up for something that keeps repeating over and over again? There is one thing I am proud of this year. 

I am a better me. 

Knowing that, is good enough to end this year well and start a new year, hearty and energized. 

Last thing before I end off.

Yesterday is history. Today will be history, so will be the future. Don’t wait to change. Work hard to change.

Grab the chance to write to your dear ones how much you treasure them in this year and look forward to the new year :)

Myths about being Single

I’ve got  this from a webpage and none of the content is written by me at all. Just want to share it with you people. Happiness comes from within and if you are not happy, be happy, or just steer clear.

Source: http://www.singleshelp.org/3myths.html

Myths About Being Single

Look at the prejudices and stereotypes many people have about being single.  Almost nothing positive is ever assumed about singles.  Our own negative attitudes lead to fears and anxieties about being single.  That is why a positive attitude is your first line of defense.  Because of the many prejudices society has against singles, it’s easy to believe that being single is boring, sad, depressing, unfulfilling, and a negative experience that should be avoided.  These unrealistic statements only serve to make the problem some have with being single worse.  If you believe such statements, then you have probably pursued relationships for the wrong reasons.  Remember that you have to be happy with yourself first.  However, it’s difficult not to buy into these myths.  The first step is to recognize the myths and realize they are not true. Then we have the opportunity to resist them by being examples of happy singles.  Think about your prejudices towards being single. What negative thoughts do you have?

Let’s pick apart some common myths about being single:

• Singleness equals loneliness. 

This is simply not the case. The only single people who claim to be lonely are those who choose to be lonely.  One of the reasons why singleness seems so scary is because of the term itself:  Single.  It has almost become a swear word in today’s society.  It creates the image of a lone person, going through life with no friends and no family. Is this what you think of when you hear the word “single?”.  “Being single” only means the lack of a marriage or dating partner.  To call yourself lonely when all you lack is one person in your life is irrational.  A lonely single is actually a selfish single because their focus is on themselves instead of on others.

• A relationship will help me feel better about myself.

A relationship is not an insurance policy for happiness, satisfaction, or fulfillment.  A relationship will not magically solve or cover up your problems.  Forget about all the perfect-couple images painted by the media.  Relationships actually magnify existing problems and create new ones.  Part of being in a relationship is learning how to solve problems.  If you can’t solve problems on your own, you won’t be able to do so with someone else.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, then you need to work on that before seeking a relationship, as people generally don’t look for someone with low self-esteem.  One of the key points that I state here several times is that you must be happy with yourself first.  The purpose of entering into a relationship is to share yourself with another person; not to try to get from someone else what you feel lacks in yourself.  Relationships (romantic and other) can’t be all “take” - you have to give as well.  Expecting someone else to fill your voids usually results in disappointment, a sense of failure, and resentment.  The way you feel about yourself is apparent to others, and if you seek a relationship hoping that the other person will somehow improve you, you will actually end up driving that person away.  You have to be happy with yourself before you can expect to get along with others.  If you believe that you cannot be happy on your own, you will be less confident and more dependent on others for your happiness.

If you feel trapped by singleness and are looking for someone to rescue you, then you need to first work on becoming content as a single person and gaining more confidence in yourself.  Become successful as a single first before worrying about success in relationships.  If you’re not content with being single, then you probably won’t be content with a relationship either.  Don’t make your happiness dependent on whether you are in a relationship or not.  Life is too short to spend a majority of it feeling depressed over something within your control.  You already have the key to unlock the singleness trap.  You just have to choose to use it.

Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.”